Whether the problem is small or big, or you have no problem whatsoever, but want to improve your sex life, there are a couple of ways you can do so. After all, your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your emotional, mental and physical health. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, communicating with your partner, implementing sex toys are just a few things you can do to take your sex life to the next level. For most people, communication is by far the biggest problem, and every other issue stems from it. Many couples find it hard to talk about sex. When problems occur, feelings of shame, hurt, resentment and guilt can prevent conversation altogether, and every mature adult knows that good communication is key to a healthy relationship.
Sex discussions oftentimes lead to even more problems and frustrations, which is why it’s important to have those discussions the right way. First and foremost, you need to find the right time to talk about sex. There are two types of sexual conversations – the ones you have while having sex, and the ones you have outside the bedroom. Telling your partner what feels great in the middle of sex, or giving them subtle suggestions can be great. However, discussing larger issues should be done outside the bedroom, when emotions aren’t running rampant. Don’t be afraid to ask what your partner likes. Even if you’re experienced and have satisfied many partners before, every person is different and every person prefers different things. Ask and thou shall receive.
Avoid criticising your partner. Instead, use suggestive language and positive terms. Instead of saying you don’t like something, just say you’d prefer if you were doing the opposite of that, or take command to show your partner what it is you’d like. You and your partner are a team, and the best approach to solving problems is you (the team) versus the problem instead of turning against one another and assigning blame. Also, be honest. You aren’t doing anybody any favours by faking an orgasm. As difficult as it may be to tell your partner that they aren’t making you orgasm, the problem won’t get better without looking for a solution.
If you’re feeling like your sex life is becoming stale, then you should use your imagination to rekindle the spark. Be adventurous, whether it’s by having sex in different rooms around the house, a secluded spot in the woods, exploring erotic films and books or anything else that might pop to mind. Buying adult toys Australia sex and relationship therapists also recommend as a way to spice things up. Start by looking up some more vanilla adult toys Australia sex stores have to offer, such as hand-cuffs, or sex games before you move into the kinkier stuff. Men are usually the ones more intimidated by toys, thinking that they aren’t necessary and their penis alone should be enough to make their partner orgasm. If you’re a man reading this – don’t be one of those foolish enough to put themselves in a competition with a toy. Get over yourself, a toy can’t steal your lady. Oh, and use lubrication. No shame in that either.
But sometimes, the problem might be something that you can fix yourself. Treating sexual problems is easier than ever, with professional sex therapists and revolutionary medications to help. You can resolve some sexual issues by making a few adjustments by educating yourself. There’s a lot of information online that you can refer to. Google your problems to find solutions, either from people who have had the same issues as you in the past, or professional experts who provide free advice online. Give yourself time to get yourself right. As we age, our sexual responses slow down, and we need to get more comfortable and accepting of the changes in our bodies. You might need more time to get aroused and orgasm, which is perfectly fine – you get to spend more time having sex!
Doing Kegels can improve sexual performance for both men and women. Kegels exercise your pelvic floor muscles. All you have to do is tighten the muscles as if you’re trying to stop peeing midstream. Hold the contraction for a few seconds, then release. Do this for 10-15 times at a time, a few times a day. The great thing about Kegels is that you can do them anywhere – at home, while driving, sitting at your desk at work, while standing in line at the grocery store, etc.
And whatever you do – don’t give up. Even if all of your efforts seem useless, it’s not over for you and your sex life. Consult with a doctor and let them help you find the root of your problems so that you can identify effective treatments. They can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you further. Many people have sex issues due to medication, such as anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications, and if that’s the case, see your doctor and look for alternative medication that may not have as big of an impact on your sex life.